Free Thought

The yellow Daffodils
Bloom in early March
to a different beat
when I start to speak
my mind
my brain
leaves me feeling
disconnected
unplugged
and unprotected
from Winter's hues
of grays and blues
lingering on the edge
of this shaky ledge
begging for understanding
demanding an end
for this road to bend
to twist, to curve
slurred speech
and forgotten info
swirling, twirling
like a little girls dress
flared out
in a spin
trying to win
binding myself
to a battle
shaken
and stirred
taken by the absurd
played like a fiddle
as a fool
a work mule
carrying a load
of stress
of life
upon my back
cracked by a whip
to carry on
the need to strive
past just surviving
the moment of malfunction
just another junction
to cross off my list
of basic functions
must make a choice
to speak
and hear my own voice
unshaken and without quiver
and it will pass over me
crawling like a shiver
up my spine
into my mind
and down again
logic fails me now
for I am a woman of disguise
wise but misinformed
of gloom and doom
sweeping the floor
of my soul
with and old dusty broom
may pick up the dirt
but leaves behind the fume
of dust gathering
in my nose
and cluttering my passage
to the other side
where happiness replaces strife
and need
is based on need
not on misfortune
I must learn
to be firm
and raise this child
to be woman
oh how a mirror
will show me the truth
that I seek
if only I dare
stare into my own eyes
and look past what I think I see
to what is otherwise
a new and positive me

~ Mindy